This guide is written for you. It covers what different kinds of harm look like, how to recognise when something feels wrong — whether it's happening to you or to someone you know — and what to do about it. You don't have to deal with any of this alone.
Reading this doesn't mean something bad has happened. It means you're better prepared. And if something is happening — to you or to a friend — the most important thing you can do is tell someone.
Section 1Understanding Different Kinds of Harm
Abuse and harm take many forms. Some are physical, some are online, some are emotional. Understanding what they look like helps you recognise them — in your own life or in someone else's.
Physical Abuse
When someone deliberately hurts your body — hitting, kicking, burning, or any other physical harm. This includes being hurt by a parent, carer, family member or anyone else.
- Injuries that can't be properly explained
- Being hurt as "punishment"
- Feeling scared of going home
- Covering injuries with clothing
- Flinching when people move suddenly
- Feeling like you deserve to be hurt
Emotional Abuse
When someone repeatedly tells you that you're worthless, stupid or unlovable, or uses fear and control to make you feel small. This can happen at home or online.
- Being constantly told you're useless or stupid
- Being humiliated or belittled in front of others
- Being threatened or scared into doing things
- Someone controlling who you can see or talk to
- Feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough
- Being made to feel responsible for someone else's behaviour
Sexual Abuse
Any sexual activity involving someone who hasn't properly consented, or who is too young to consent. This includes contact and things that happen online — like being asked for photos or being shown sexual content.
- Being touched in a way you didn't agree to
- Being pressured into sexual activity
- Being asked to send or look at sexual images
- Someone exposing themselves to you
- Being shown sexual content without your agreement
- Feeling like you can't say no to someone older
Bullying and Cyberbullying
Repeated behaviour intended to hurt, humiliate, exclude or control someone. Online bullying can include threatening messages, sharing images without permission, spreading rumours or deliberately excluding someone.
- Receiving threatening or hurtful messages
- Photos or videos shared without your permission
- Being deliberately excluded from groups
- Rumours being spread about you online
- Someone pretending to be you online
- Being targeted by a group of people together
Neglect
When a parent or carer consistently fails to provide what a child needs — food, warmth, medical care, clothing, emotional support, or supervision. Neglect is often invisible but its effects are serious.
- Regularly going without food or warm clothing
- Never having medical problems treated
- Being left alone for long periods without an adult
- A parent or carer who is never available emotionally
- Frequently missing school without any support
- Not having somewhere safe to sleep
Section 2Understanding Grooming
Grooming is when an adult — or sometimes an older young person — deliberately builds a relationship with a child in order to abuse them. It often feels like friendship or even a romantic relationship at first. That is exactly how it is designed to feel.
How grooming works — and how to recognise it
Grooming is gradual. The person doing it is patient. They build trust over time before they do anything that feels wrong. This is why many young people don't realise what's happening until later — and why it is never your fault if you were groomed.
- They show a lot of interest in you, make you feel special and understood
- They give you gifts, money, gaming credits or compliments
- They try to separate you from friends and family — making you feel like only they understand you
- They share secrets with you and ask you to keep secrets from others
- They gradually introduce sexual topics or images into conversations
- They say things like "you're so mature for your age" or "we have a special connection"
- They want to communicate privately — moving to apps your parents can't see
- They suggest meeting in person
If any of this feels familiar — even with someone you like and trust — talk to an adult you trust, or use the CONCERN button below.
Grooming can happen online or in person. It can be done by strangers, but also by people already known to the family — a coach, a family friend, an older member of a group. The fact that you know someone does not mean they cannot harm you.
Section 3If You're Worried About Someone Else
You might be the first person to notice.
At your age, you spend a lot of time with your friends. That means you might be the first person to notice if something is wrong — before a teacher does, before a parent does. That is an important position to be in.
You don't need to be certain something is wrong to say something. A feeling that a friend isn't okay is enough reason to act.
Signs a friend might need help
- They've become withdrawn or stopped talking to people they used to be close to
- They seem scared, anxious or upset — especially around certain people
- They have unexplained money, gifts or new things they can't explain
- They're going missing, especially at night
- They talk about an older person they've met online who gives them a lot of attention
- They're being bullied — online or in person
- They've stopped coming to school or social events they used to enjoy
- They seem to be using alcohol or drugs
What you can do
- 1Talk to them. Let them know you've noticed and that you care. You don't need to have the answers — just being there matters. Listen without judging.
- 2Don't promise to keep it secret. If a friend tells you something serious, you may need to tell an adult. Be honest about that — "I care about you too much to keep this to myself if you're in danger."
- 3Tell a trusted adult. You don't have to handle this on your own. Tell a parent, a teacher, or use the CONCERN button. You are not betraying your friend — you are protecting them.
- 4If they are in immediate danger, call 999. Don't wait. Your friend's safety is more important than anything else.
Section 4When Someone Tries to Turn Hate into Action
Most people have strong opinions about things happening in the world. That is completely normal. But there is an important difference between having strong views and being led by someone else towards hatred and harmful action — and that difference is what this section is about.
We are not concerned with what people think or believe. We are concerned with what people do. Hate is a feeling. Harmful action is a behaviour. Our job — and yours, if you spot it in a friend — is to recognise when someone is being led towards doing something that could hurt themselves or other people.
What is radicalisation?
Radicalisation is when someone deliberately targets a young person — exploiting their vulnerabilities, their feelings of not fitting in, or their genuine grievances about the world — and gradually leads them towards hatred and then towards harmful or violent action.
It doesn't matter what the ideology is. It doesn't matter whether it's political, religious, nationalist or anything else. The mechanism is always the same — and it looks a lot like grooming.
How it works — the same pattern every time
Radicalisers are patient and skilled. They don't start by saying anything extreme. They start by making someone feel understood.
- They find someone who feels left out, angry or unfairly treated — and they offer a simple explanation for why
- They make the person feel special, chosen, and part of something important
- They gradually introduce more extreme ideas — testing what the person will accept
- They create an "us and them" picture of the world where violence or illegal action seems justified
- They pull the person away from family and friends who might challenge those ideas
- They move conversations to private, encrypted or hidden platforms
- They use gaming platforms, forums and social media to find and target young people
- They make the person feel that leaving the group would be a betrayal
Signs someone you know might be being radicalised
These signs on their own don't confirm anything — but a pattern of them, or a sudden change, is worth taking seriously.
- Talking more and more about a group of people as enemies or as less than human
- Saying that violence against certain people is justified or deserved
- Becoming secretive about who they are talking to online
- Pulling away from friends and family who disagree with their new views
- Becoming angry or aggressive when their views are questioned
- Spending a lot of time on forums, games or platforms with people you don't know
- Talking about a group or cause as if it is the only thing that matters
- Expressing admiration for people who have committed violent acts
If you are worried about a friend, use the same approach as any other concern — talk to a trusted adult, use the CONCERN button, or contact Childline. You can also visit actearly.uk which is specifically designed to help people worried about radicalisation.
Section 5Your Rights
Under the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child — an international agreement that applies to every child in the UK — you have rights that cannot be taken away from you.
- ✓You have the right to be safe from harm, abuse and exploitation.
- ✓You have the right to privacy — nobody should access your personal data without a proper reason.
- ✓You have the right to be heard — adults must listen to you and take you seriously.
- ✓You have the right to protection from sexual abuse and exploitation.
- ✓If you have been harmed, you have the right to support and recovery.
These are not just words. On this platform, they are the basis of every decision we make.
Section 6How to Report a Concern
🆘 HELP Button
Use this if you need help right now on this platform. A real person will see your message — not a computer. Use it for yourself, not for concerns about others.
⚠️ CONCERN Button
Use this if something is worrying you — about yourself or someone else — but it isn't an emergency. A safeguarding professional will respond within 24 hours.
🏛️ Tell a trusted adult
A parent, teacher, school counsellor, doctor — anyone you trust. If the first person doesn't help, tell someone else. Keep going until someone listens.
🌐 CEOP
If your concern involves online sexual exploitation or grooming, report to ceop.police.uk — specialist police for online harm.
🚨 999
If you or someone else is in immediate danger right now. Always the right call in an emergency — don't hesitate.
Abuse is always the responsibility of the person doing it. It doesn't matter what you said, what you wore, whether you went along with something or whether you met someone online. None of that makes it your fault.
You deserve to be safe. Telling someone is always the right thing to do.
Section 7Key Contacts
Emergency
Immediate danger. Always first.
Childline
Free, confidential, 24/7. For you.
NSPCC
For adults worried about a child.
The buttons are always here when you need them
Whether it's happening to you or you're worried about someone else — use HELP for immediate need, CONCERN for anything that's worrying you. Both go directly to a real person.
Part of the VML Digital Safety Ecosystem | Safeguarding Library